"Ladybird" and self-reflection
Many people have heard of the Greta Gerwig-directed film Ladybird. I have come to love this film. Underneath its critical and popular success, I think that there is a story that many of us (especially those who are first gen) can relate to.
*Light spoiler warning*
Ladybird is a film about a Sacramento native high school student who grows up resenting where she is from and her “small-town” background. While she is not technically first gen, there are many parallels and the family struggles financially. Ladybird, the main character, desires for nothing more than to leave and settle on the East Coast where she perceives culture to be. She is unappreciative generally. On the other hand, her mother likes to hold their financial situation over her head. The father is a big softie. After moving to New York for college, Ladybird realizes her nostalgia and appreciation of where she is from.
I relate to this film on many levels. I wanted to be out of Michigan for so long. I feel immense nostalgia for it now that I am gone. I can honestly say that I have had some of the same arguments with my mother that she had with hers. Anger, guilt, class-passing, and nostalgia are salient themes in the film.
Another interesting parallel is that the place she so desperately wanted to get out of is sort of where I ended up! The film itself has stirred up a lot of nostalgia for me and appreciation of both where I am from and the Sacramento area. I highly recommend the film as a casual watch and as content for this course.
A big part of the film is financial pressure. Ladybird wants to attend a university out of state. The first scene in the film results in an argument between Ladybird and her mother over the cost of attending college out of state. Despite Ladybird trying to make her aware of financial aid and scholarship opportunities, her mother won’t budge. Though the mother does not explain herself, I can’t help thinking that she was trying to prevent her daughter from bearing the burden of student debt.
In the end of the film, not much is resolved. I could say the same for myself. While my career trajectory is ostensibly set, the path forward is not. It’s funny to watch to the film, identify with the main character so much, and simultaneously dislike her. She is unappreciative, misguided, and phony. And yet, I completely understand her.
Labels: Backgrounds, class, family
posted by Justin Stucki @ November 20, 2023
2 Comments
2 Comments:
I was a high schooler before “Ladybird” came out, but when I watched the movie for the first time, I also saw myself in many of its narratives. Fresno is not, really, a small town. But I always thought about it as “a big city with small town aspirations.” In retrospect, I think this was a naïve view to apply to many of my peers - for many of them were battling the same obstacles we cover in this class. While I certainly overcame hurdles growing up, I did not fully consider that, for some, leaving their families was not an option. It was not until I went to college, fleeing to my own “elite” East Coast institution that I learned just how lucky I was: to be admitted a place with need-based aid and to have the freedom to go. After six years on the East Coast, with one visit from family in all that time, I decided it was time to move closer to home. It really does get lonely when you are all on your own.
I remember the first time I watched Ladybird, too! My wife is from Merced and always told me about the saying "living on the other side of the tracks." After a few visits to the Central Valley, I understood what she meant, and to see Ladybird say the exact same was like a "woah" moment to me. The film, I think, is a must watch for all first gen students: the dynamic she has with her mother, the thrift shopping for outfits were narratives I knew all too well growing up. What hits me the hardest is the ending, when the mom takes a drive around Sacramento and cries.
It was part of the reason I realized the time for healing was now. After moving to Davis and leaving home behind, I knew I'd regret not giving credit to where I came from.
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