Am I the only one?
Am I the only one?
Am I the only one who hates networking? It feels icky and unauthentic. I don’t know how to talk to lawyers. What if they are talking about some case I don’t know about or maybe they are discussing the philosophy of a legal doctrine and I have nothing of substance to say? I don’t know how to be myself around professionals. Do I act formal? I am not a very formal person. Do lawyers even care what a law student thinks? Maybe I am supposed to shut up and listen. I think I will shut up and listen.
Am I the only one who feels like a child as an intern? I am 24 years old but when I am at the office I feel like an annoying child. The attorneys don’t really trust me at first. The clients think I am too young to help them. I am in an office, but I am not a part of the office family. I feel like a guest over-staying my welcome. I ask questions but try not to be too burdensome. I observe and try to figure things out on my own. I never ever complain. I listen and don’t offer my opinions. I feel the weight of being a woman in a male dominated career. I ignore the feeling.
Am I the only one who is afraid that law school won’t teach me how to be a good lawyer? Oh my, I am almost done. When will I feel like an attorney? Is it after I pass the bar? Is that when I will know what the hell I am doing? I think I need another year, or five. Maybe it is like getting thrown in the deep end; sink or swim. I wish my parents could tell me; they usually have all the answers.
Am I the only one?
Labels: imposter, law school
posted by Taylor Brown @ October 30, 2023
3 Comments
3 Comments:
Hi Taylor, no you are not the only one. I suppose I understand the hesitancy of attorneys trusting us, but why is it so hard to find people that are invested in our futures as attorneys? I am not sure if I will ever be ready to practice, but one thing that I do know is that when I am an attorney, I will absolutely be the mentor that students can look up to and confide in.
You’re definitely not the only one. I appreciate you sharing this so honestly. I have always been perplexed by the concept of “networking” too! I am not one to try to force a conversation or fake interest. I think that being yourself and adding in your passions, your joys, and your learning is a much better way to get to know each other, to grow together, and to build new futures. That’s part of what I feel like our generation is taking on– changing how the legal profession looks at itself, how it acts, how it welcomes our voices. You can, and I’m sure will, be an important part of that, and are certainly not alone in it.
Taylor, your inner monologue feels similar to the thoughts I am having while in law school, especially about feeling so young. I came straight through from undergrad to law school, so I did not have time to explore myself outside the academic setting. One piece of advice I was given before my OCI season was to put my hair behind my ears and wear my glasses during interviews. The woman giving me the advice said I looked so young that firms would either be worried that I could not do the work or be scared of me. I was not sure how to take the advice. If I can do the work, why should my appearance even matter?
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