The hardest lesson in advocacy: knowing when to step back

From Lost to Empowered

I did not always understand what it truly meant to be a first-generation college student. Stepping onto my undergraduate campus for the first time felt like entering a world designed for those with guidance from parents, siblings, or mentors who had already navigated this path. Instead, I had to figure things out on my own, constantly wondering if I was missing something important.

Thankfully, that changed a few weeks into my freshman year when I was selected for a retention program designed for first-generation and low-income students. At the time, I did not realize how much I needed it.

I once believed success was just about working harder, but this program showed me that access to resources made all the difference. It provided priority registration, free private tutoring, a quarterly book stipend, and, most importantly, a support system. I was no longer just surviving college; I was thriving.

That experience changed me. I realized how many first-generation students struggle not because they lack ability, but because they are navigating an unfamiliar system without the same safety nets as others. It also showed me the power of having a community that understands and supports you.

When I applied to law school, I knew I needed that same sense of belonging. I prioritized schools with strong first-generation support, places where students were not expected to figure everything out alone. At King Hall, I found that in the First Generation Advocates program.

When Advocacy Feels Impossible

I wish I could say that I joined the First Generation Advocates Student Board (FGASB), advocated for first-generation and low-income law students, and everything else fell into place. But that would be far from the truth.

Advocating for others is difficult, especially when you're struggling yourself. The truth is that I have struggled from the moment I walked into law school orientation. Law school was unlike anything I had experienced before. However, like always, I figured things out with time.

But nothing could have prepared me for this past semester.

FGASB had won an important award for its service, and I was chosen to deliver the acceptance speech on its behalf. I sat in my seat, nervously waiting for my turn to speak, when my phone buzzed. It was my brother.

“The landlords have decided to sell the house. We will need to move out soon.”

My mind went blank. For most, this news would be stressful. For me, it was a trigger.

I started spiraling, remembering the times we lived in transitional homelessness, the fear of losing everything again, and the uncertainty of what would happen next. Just as the thoughts became overwhelming, they called our organization’s name. I took a deep breath, walked up to the podium, and read the speech I had written just hours earlier.

I did not ask many people for help after that. I convinced myself I could handle it on my own. But a few weeks later, my dad suffered a major heart attack.

No warning signs. No time to prepare. Just a single phone call that changed everything.

I suddenly had so many doubts. I did not know if I would have to drop out in my final year of law school to support my family or if I would even make it to the end of the semester. I did not know how to advocate for myself, let alone for others.

Stepping Back to Move Forward

For so long, I believed that to be the best advocate for myself and others, I had to always be present, always be strong, and always have answers. One of the hardest lessons I have learned is that advocacy is not about doing everything alone. It is about knowing when to lean on others, when to delegate, and when to trust that the work will continue even if you need to rest.

1. Lean on Your Community

Advocacy is a collective effort. Just as I encourage others to seek support, I have to remind myself that I, too, deserve that same support.

Reaching out to trusted peers, mentors, and colleagues when things get overwhelming is not a sign of weakness. It is a way to sustain yourself so you can continue doing the work. 

First-generation advocacy exists because people have built communities that uplift and support each other. It is okay to be on the receiving end of that support sometimes.

2. Set Boundaries and Recognize Your Limits

When you are constantly advocating for others, it is easy to neglect your own needs. But pushing yourself beyond your limits does not make you a better advocate. It only leads to burnout.

Setting boundaries is not about disengaging. It is about being intentional with your energy. This can look like saying no to certain commitments, taking breaks when needed, or stepping back from leadership roles temporarily if life becomes too overwhelming.

3. Give Yourself Grace

One of the biggest challenges I have faced is learning to be kind to myself. When things in my personal life started falling apart, I felt like I was failing as an advocate because I was not able to give as much as I once did.

But advocacy is not about being perfect. It is about doing the best you can with the capacity you have. There will be seasons when you can give more and seasons when you need to take a step back. Both are okay.

Giving yourself grace means recognizing that you are human. It means recognizing that taking a break is sometimes the most responsible thing you can do, not just for yourself but for the people who rely on you.

Lessons for Law School and Beyond

Being a first-generation student comes with unique challenges. Trying to advocate for others while navigating those challenges makes it even harder. But stepping back when needed does not mean you care any less. It means making sure you can continue the work in a way that is healthy, sustainable, and impactful.

These lessons are not just about surviving law school. They are about building the resilience and awareness necessary to be an effective advocate in any setting, including as a future attorney. The best advocates are not the ones who never struggle. They are the ones who recognize their limits, know when to rest, and understand that advocacy is a long-term commitment that requires sustainability.

As I move forward in my career, I know that the same principles will continue to apply. To serve clients, support communities, and create meaningful change, I have to balance my dedication with self-care. The ability to step back when necessary is not a weakness. It is a skill that ensures I can continue advocating, not just for others, but for myself as well.